kushroom:

so you’re saying I can win 5 iphones every day??? and all I have to do is give my credit card number on this website I’ve never heard about??? well slam me in my tender butthole sir you’ve just got yourself a deal

winchesterlicious:

My mum just came into my room and said “did you lose a pair of pants?”

and I was like “…what”

and then she took my hand

and gave me this carrot

image

I tried to give it back but she ran away laughing

"Some people underestimate how erotic it is to be understood." - Mary Rakow  (via commovente)

im-a-kittycat:

“So my amazing daughter, Emma, turned 5 last month, and I had been searching everywhere for new-creative inspiration for her 5yr pictures. I noticed quite a pattern of so many young girls dressing up as beautiful Disney Princesses, no matter where I looked 95% of the “ideas” were the “How to’s” of  how to dress your little girl like a Disney Princess…We chose 5 women (five amazing and strong women), as it was her 5th birthday but there are thousands of unbelievable women (and girls) who have beat the odds and fought (and still fight) for their equal rights all over the world

 - Jaime Moore, Not Just a Girl

fakehighschoolboyfriend:

a musical entitled “may, senior year” filled with hits such as:

“i never knew you wanted to join the military”

“why are you getting married”

“that’s an awful tattoo”

“what am i doing for the rest of my life”

“how will i afford deodorant in college”

“why can’t i graduate already”

“why can’t i graduate already (reprise): why am i graduating already”